I Teach Nervous System Regulation and Embodiment Sounds Like Gobbledegook to Me

It doesn't start with a somatic breakthrough. It starts with putting on a sweater.

The other day I sat at my desk shivering, hungry, and needing to go to the bathroom for a solid 3 hours. I was hyperfocused on the task at hand and the needs of my body were just these tiny nagging background noises that were all too easy to ignore.

The irony of course is that my work literally revolves around encouraging women to listen to their bodies.

I’ve been working on a series around using Human Design for nervous system regulation, with the ultimate message being that intuition is your most powerful nervous system regulation tool. (And a regulated nervous system is necessary for intuition to work. It’s a little circular, but everything is. That’s why healing is spiralic.)

But what is also necessary for intuition to work: listening to it.

And what is intuition? It’s a knowing that comes from a sensation in your body.

But you’re not going to hear the knowing if you routinely ignore your body. So when they say “get back into your body” or “listen to your body”, this is why. It tunes you into what your body is actually saying and it builds self-trust.

Sitting there shivering but ignoring it harkened me back to a tarot reading I got done a few weeks ago. (This was the same reading where she suggested I might want to get into Human Design, not knowing it was already pretty central to my work.)

She told me I needed to “get back into my body”. I almost had to roll my eyes because I’ve heard that one. So. many. times. It was truly a facepalm moment because on the one hand, I know this! Tell me something I don’t know! On the other hand, when you get the same advice over and over again, there’s usually a reason for that.

I’m an Aquarius sun, moon, and rising (and Mercury, to boot). Spacey is an understatement. Most of the time I just feel like a floating ball of thoughts. What’s a body?

On top of that, a dysregulated nervous system from the day I was born (or before) and a “fairly traumatic childhood” as one therapist called it, and I’ve been very successful at mentally going elsewhere. And TBH I wouldn’t want to change that quality about myself. My conscious sun gate in Human Design is Gate 41, which is all about co-creation through imagination. Visualizing the future’s potential and bringing it to form through the power of fantasy. Essentially: manifestation. I’ve literally daydreamed scenes into existence. Daydreaming got me through the hardest times and it literally changed my life. And since it’s in my conscious sun it’s pretty important to my life’s purpose.

But none of that means I get a pass on listening to my body.

When the Body Carries Chronic Pain

She also said I needed to “work more with the moon” which, again, was definitely advice I’ve gotten more. After all, it’s not lost on me that my North Node is in Cancer in my 6th house of health and service. The 6th house is there to show us how your work and health are connected. Your North Node is where you’re going in this life. And Cancer is, well you know Cancer. With the moon being the ruler of Cancer, as well as the representation of the body, it was a glaring reminder that, again, my body is important here.

Despite my misgivings with one of the only two water signs in my entire chart, my life path feels pretty aligned given the fact that I I’ve chosen to help people with their health, after a long battle with my own health. And this part of my chart has had a bit of a boost the past year since Jupiter and Cancer are having a moment. (Funny, Jupiter is my only other water sign in Scorpio in my 10th house. Almost like I’m here to do feelings, which makes me very uncomfortable. But at least Scorpio’s here to do some work with all those feelings).

So my career feels incredibly aligned. Amazing. My personal journey in that realm has always felt a little more complicated, but that’s probably only because I’ve been making it complicated. With all my air signs (8 total) and undefined crown and head centers, I’ve been wanting to “figure out” how to take care of myself, and the answer is just listen to my fucking body. The she tells me work with the damn moon. I have MoonX app! Doesn’t that count? <again, facepalm>

It’s not just my birth chart and the trauma that shaped this. There was a moment in my journey where I believed that literally ignoring my body was the answer to fibromyalgia pain and fatigue. It wasn’t something I came up with, it was something I was taught. At a 3 week pain rehabilitation program at the Mayo Clinic. They had a lot of good things to say, a lot of things that I’ve incorporated into my personal and professional practices. I credit them with changing my life. Those three weeks were the moment when I went from nearly bedridden to climbing back up.

However. One of the lessons I learned was rather than wallowing in your pain (or other chronic symptom(s)), you should ignore it. At all costs. Don’t think about it and don’t talk about it. Bad day? Keep going, and never, under any circumstances, let anyone know about it. Does that sound right? Well, to my Aquarian brain, it sounded easy enough to try. I wanted it to be right because it sounded easier than dealing with shit.

Real talk: it worked, for a hot minute. I definitely had a good period of time where my symptoms were down and I felt better. But at some point, they got bad again, and I didn’t have the tools to deal with them. The answer was just stuffing down my feelings like they didn’t exist, and surprise surprise, that makes you feel like shit, eventually.

The reason they said ignore your symptoms is a actually good one: paying too much attention to your symptoms actually heightens them. It tells your central nervous system, this symptom is important! And your CNS goes, got it - more coming! And it gets worse, and you pay more attention, and on and on and on. This is 100% true and it is something I teach my clients as well. Thinking about it all day, complaining about, covering your body with braces and icy hot, taking Advil on a daily basis - all of those things are what they called “pain behaviors” and they will make it worse. There is a thin line between talking about your pain in order to process it and feel better from the relief of opening up about it, and getting into victim-mode. When you’re in a victim mentality, you’ve lost the entire game.

But/and: ignoring your body will never be the answer. Instead, the answer is acknowledging and accepting your body without letting the pain run the entire show. There is a place you can reach that mindfully acknowledges how your body feels in the moment and also doesn’t pass judgment on it. There is a way to accept how you feel rather than feel angry at your body or the world. The mindfulness and acceptance help you process your feelings without activating the nervous system, which actually help your body feel better over time.

But is that all easier said than done? Obvs. It comes and goes for me. Just because I’ve “figured out” the answers doesn’t mean I always embody them.

There are a lot of people talking about embodiment right now. TBH, it often sounds like gobbledegook for me. Because embodiment is. not. natural. to me. I have to work at it. The body keeps the score? Yes, I believe that - but only because I have the evidence of it, but because I can feel the connection. People talk about getting a really good fascia release massage and sobbing because it releases trapped emotions. I have no doubt that’s true and I have no doubt that this would not be my experience. Yes, I have emotions, lots of them, but I have no idea where they are most of the time.

I have to imagine that a lot of people teaching embodiment understand it on a visceral level because it is their unique gift. Which is exactly what they should be doing.

But/and, if the concept sounds like gobbledegook for you too, you’re in the right place. I know it’s really fucking important, and I can tell you why, but I’m still working out what it actually means.

But I know it starts with putting on a sweater when you’re cold.

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A little about me….

I’m Niki — lawyer turned SAHM turned burnout survivor turned nervous system nerd. I spent years being told my labs were “fine” while my body fell apart, until I finally connected the dots between stress, the nervous system, and physical symptoms. Human Design gave me the missing piece: a way to understand my own wiring instead of fighting it.

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